Differing views and values, past grievances and loss, can strain the best of us. It’s no wonder that some people stay estranged rather than try to understand, or to forgive. In the end, people can only decide this for themselves.
If thousands of these wondrous flowers could be their perfect selves, there was hope for a broken twelve-year-old girl.
It’s time we let them go, I said. And I really meant it. I felt as if I were saying this for the first time. It wasn’t easy – as obvious as it seems. But it felt honest, and okay.
Moments of redemptions do not promise the coming of the messianic age. They occur nevertheless, moments when the unimaginable occurs, even in the midst of darkness and death.
I haven’t truly grown up. I’m a baby. I haven’t lost either of my parents, and this makes me feel like I don’t know anything about being on my own. The path ahead is foreign and foreboding, requiring a compass I don’t have and don’t want.
This may be the most highly anticipated vacation of my life. With my husband, mother and other extended family members around to help care for and entertain my daughter, it will be the biggest break I’ve had since she was born. So I’ve got big plans and they have nothing to do with email.
I’m still not sure where I fall. I do know the lion’s share of the work required will fall on me. I’m reminded of how manageable our life felt before we made the decision to have a third child. Things sometimes need shaking up.
I didn’t feel ready for parenting I told her, but I went for it anyway. It’s natural to fear what we don’t know, even when we’re ready to leave what we do. In her case, she’s ready to move on and leave high school behind. But the change coming is a big one.
I left the country immediately after graduating – to live and work for several months in London to earn money to travel that fall. As I contemplated returning home seven months later, I worried about the shock of being plunked back into my life here. What would it look like?
Challenges remain as a parent, and one of the biggest I guess, is stepping aside.
I’ve learned in recent years that I can try to do everything right, that I can think my way to what I believe is the “right” solution, and yet it doesn’t always get the intended results. So my goal for now is not to think my to the next stage, but to feel my way. Explore the way a baby, or a toddler, or a child does. See what I can do only by embracing the possibility that I will fall, and that falling won’t kill me.