Domestic Violence Raises Complicated Questions

I won’t pretend to understand the pain that can break and immobilize a woman. I’ve read that for many battered women who finally leave, the nightmare often continues after they’ve left a spouse or boyfriend. Stepping out is just the start of a very steep climb. It can take weeks, months and years to truly escape, especially when kids are in the picture. Restraining orders are broken, men are released from jail. Sometimes they find their partners; sometimes they kill them.


How Do You Make a Marriage Work?

We all want to believe that our marriages are safe – that with so much shared history, a shared future is guaranteed. Plenty of us know divorced friends or family members, many who separated before the children were grown, others who opted out after the children left. Some seemingly ill-suited couples thrive, while others ‘perfect’ for one another are miserable. It makes me wonder: What makes me and my husband special? Why should my marriage succeed when so many others have not?


The Problem with Marriage

Because my beliefs about marriage and relationships are so important to me, it’s really hard to hear people talk about marriage in a way that doesn’t differentiate between the spiritual institution and the legal system (what I sometimes refer to as “paperwork”). I recognize that paperwork is important, because I’ve seen how much people’s lives are affected when they don’t have access to it. But that doesn’t mean it’s the real deal: the courageous, beautiful, ridiculous mystery of people coming into unity with each other and joining their lives into one. Paperwork, in my opinion, is not marriage.


Valentine’s Day Vow

Ah, Valentine’s Day. A day devoted to expensive dinners and cheap carnations, boxes full of chocolate and words empty of true intention. And love. Ah, love. The most meaningful decision I have ever made is to love others. So today’s holiday? I could obviously take it or leave it. But I am serious about love.